Thursday, August 17, 2017

WRITING | a summer ago

a   s u m m e r   a g o 

sparkling nights
black gold nights 
losing friends to grown up fights 
city noise small town silence 
grown near the river with the riots 
fireworks and on firehearts 
blazing skies 
crazy eyes
scarlet flame 
dreams of fame…

virtuous vices fascistic freedom 
those stained glass eyes
their white steeple lies 
hiding their sins and wiping our minds 
cathedral covered sunday secrets 
if you know one you better keep it 
if you got a dream you better kill it 

drunk rose scented girls 
nighttime girls 
under the river bridge girls 
always there with the 
blue eyed freckled boys 
good, working boys” 
boys will be boys
if you've never had "love" you'd better try it
if you've got a dream you better throw it 

a year-younger me
15 year old me  
trying to make sense of the senseless society 
an old soul in young bones 
a mind with a mind and age of its own 
if you’ve got a brain you better teach it
if you don’t the devil will feed on it  
and if you've got a dream-

you better keep it 


xx un abbraccio, kathryn 💋

Friday, August 11, 2017

WRITING | "darknesses."


come to me with your darkness. 

come, knowing I will care.


it will eat me up inside because I try to carry every cross on my shoulders
like a guilt. 
a guilt from all that darkness. 
a guilt because I couldn't stop the hands that pulled you further and further in 
and a guilt reminding me of the times you didn't make it into the light. 
a guilt not mine, no, but it's not in my nature to let you bear this life on your own

don't bear it on your own- come to me with your darkness

it kills me but it keeps me alive 
knowing you're not facing death alone anymore
death from that darkness 

I will filter 
your heart, your past
your life, your memories
your soul, your ghosts 
your madness, your sanity
your hatred, your love

and give back only the bright things of your existence

i'll keep the darkness from you

i'll try my hardest

I have so many darknesses inside. 

but you know, it becomes like the night sky in there. 

it's deep midnight
and there's fragments of stars- bits of light I've stolen to remember the hope in people eyes. 
it is beautiful in the night. it is so human.
and when the midnight overflows 
and streams down my cheeks in ink and color
it's my soul's only, hurtful way to make room 
for the moon- my heart, my light, so I can give it to others. 

so I can get new darknesses.

but some people's darknesses settle. 

in the deep water, right at the bottom of my core
those waters that are hardly stirred but are  

these darkness are ones I've learned to love too much.
from people who I never should have fallen for so painfully.
some darknesses are my own forever because it is the only way to hold on. 
it's my own, delusional method for not losing people 
when they are lost. 

come to me with your darkness.

break me with what has broken you.

and at the end of my life 
with millions of invisible tears and faint shadows on my face
i will smile
as I look inside 
at all the galaxies we've made together.

xx un abbraccio, kathryn <3